Have you ever looked at the number plate of the car in front of you and thought, “Will I ever meet this car again, here, in the exact same conditions as now?”
“Will I remember I was thinking about this car in this setting today, if I actually happen to see it in front of me again?
“Will I ever know the story inside that car?”
“Will it have changed between today and that day I see it again?”

May be life is as ephemeral as the car right in front of you on the highway.
The right thing to do is to feel how you feel now. And remember it.

So how warm does a sunset feel?
Warm enough…the way it blankets the familiar evening universe in it’s tangerine glow, making everything magical.

The dusty roads, the glare off the windows of those familiar wayside buildings, even the pesky homeward traffic…Yes, everything looks kind of an ethereal Tangerine.

Tangerine – Yes, I think that must be the colour of warmth.

Tangerine – Joel and Clementine’s colour !
Clementine: [Clementine has dyed her hair orange] You like? To match my sweatshirt, exactly.
Joel: Ahaaahhhhh! Ohhhhhh! I like it!
Clementine: You do?
Joel: You look like a tangerine!
Clementine: Hmmm, Clementine the tangerine.
Joel: Juicy… ‘n seedless.
Clementine: I like that.

(Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind : 2004)





That poignancy at the remembrance of bygone days….a moment, a touch, a hug, a kiss, a look, shared laughter, confessions, promises, giggles, …

If only one would learn to live the present with as much love as one does a memory…..


Note to self: My mindful meditation practice needs just THAT – more practice!!


Finding dreams..


Stories of a thick white sheet of snow covering the mountains obscuring the landscape, disrupting electricity, food and water supplies abound here in this pretty little town on the foothills of the majestic Himalayas…

The locals were only too quick to recount tales of a difficult Himalayan winter in response to our gushing appreciation of the “white photographs” adorning the walls of this resort we were staying in…

But that particular morning was beautiful…
The sun shone brighter and clearer..or maybe it seemed so to us city dwellers so used to our smoggy skies…

There is an inexplicable peace in those mountain mornings…
The birds seem freer, the skies bluer, the trees greener….

It’s easy to get lost in a make belief world of dreams ,because here the dreams do not feel make belief at all.

Here , you’re allowed to live IN your dreams…
You’re allowed to get lost and lose yourself….

Inspirations and Inertia




A week full of inspirations that I didn’t quite put to good use..! I’m putting it down to what I call “year-end lethargy”!

I’ve stored them away for now and have vowed to not let them all be past and forgotten.
Does it work like that? Will stored inspirations be as motivating as they’re at the moment,say, 2 weeks later?
I wonder..

The books I ordered 2 days back are all here..! How efficient and convenient these online stores are these days!
Though of course, there’s hardly the pleasure of getting lost amongst tall bookshelves in real book stores, smelling new pages and discovering many a treasure hidden quietly away in deep corners..

But well, the only consolation is perhaps that one is sure of finding the book one wants in one of the many sites for sure without being told it’s out of stock at the moment.

That moment when the guard calls with ‘Ma’am your courier is here’ is one of my happiest always!
Today was special because of my Bond books.. the ones I’m getting to be autographed by the author himself.

Somehow I never seem to win anything, but this time I won these passes to meet Ruskin Bond. (Unlike a friend of mine who only just needs to fill a random questionnaire and she wins fancy sewing machines and LCD TVs! )

Next Monday is the long awaited day when I get to hear him speak on…hold your breath…’The Joy of Writing’…!! And at my favorite venue in the city too !

I’m not missing it for anything…

Is it an omen that my luck is turning?
Good. I hope so. Maybe the topsy turvy events of the past few months are beginning to rearrange themselves.

I’m not much of a believer.
I’d much rather get out there and shift the stars to my liking, tell off a few people, brush away many more..!!
 P calls it my restlessness, impatience and manic tendencies!

But then when I tried ” believing”, K violently dismissed it off as crap! My suggestion that ‘sometimes events unfold that are beyond your control’ was met with utter disdain!

 “Do your duty and keep your conscience clear and nothing can harm you” is what he says.

Yes, agreed.
But it works only if the world would mind its own business (Which, in my opinion, is often not the case) and let you “Do your duty and keep your conscience clear” in peace!!

Of course, honestly speaking, I never expected him to be accepting of my newly discovered jumbled ideas on “what makes the world tick”. That would be entirely uncharacteristic of him.

That brings me back to my (so called) restlessness,  impatience and the strong urge these days to go rearrange the world!! And a few people in it!


Guess P is right. My Buddhism practice is not working. But then I’ll come to that later…

Ruskin Bond’s world sounds so peaceful… the chirping birds, the rustling of leaves, the fresh Himalayan air…

The only soothing sound I can hear in the medley of our city sounds…..airplanes roaring past, homebound evening traffic,  rock music from someone partying next door…is the chatter of little children playing in the park. And Bruzo barking at something that’s disturbing his peace.

Bruzo..the black fuzzy mixed breed that lives two homes away and of whom Shadow has remained undecided.

M has invited me to the raffle and sale in the church tomorrow.
She’s setting up a bakery stall.
It was last week that I very enthusiastically promised to be there after work.
If my inertia doesn’t set in, I should be richer by a few plum cakes by tomorrow evening..!

Talking of cakes, A took all the trouble on his short trip to Goa to bring back this delicious consignment, at my rapturous behest!

Bebinca…the ONE thing that I hold synonymous with Goa, apart from the usual sun and beaches routine.
It is one sweet even Shadow gobbles up without his usual preliminary suspicious sniff ( Shadow, unlike Ginger and Buddy, has a ‘salt- tooth’, if you can call it that!)

It brought back memories of my first Bebinca in Madgaon from a tiny little bakery at the suggestion of the hotel staff some 10 years ago on my first trip to Goa…a love affair that has lasted…


(Un) Fragile glass Stories



No. I don’t drink alcohol.
But whenever I’m at a party, I invariably look around for colorful cases and bottles that its variants are packaged in.

Result:  Recycled Vodka bottles reborn as elegant vases on my dining table.
Vases that now tell stories….

Fragile stories
In blue …of water, fishes, glass rooms, rainy summers

In green….of potted plants, new leaves, a shirt

In brown…of coffee. Black.Without sugar. Forbidden
In white…of blessed, untouched innocence

In pink…of a caressing delicate tenderness

In red…of unquenchable want

In black…of suffocating depths

In sunny orange.…of the immeasurable joy of friendship emerging out of the ashes.

In mellow yellow...of soul stirring revelations and transformations!

And then…

In THAT blue and green which now speaks of the never-ending, unshakable trust…
Of soul engulfing joy of belonging without owning…

Of the embalming peace of being and letting be….

Finally now, the glass stories were no longer fragile.
But “of glass” they pledged to let them remain…True and unpretentious.
And in blues and greens too…Soothing, Lulling, New.

(Don’t they say , “Touch wood” here??)



We bumped into each other on the stairs.

” Leaving? Home?”
“Yes You?”
“Oh, I got a small errand. Nearby. Then home”

” Okay. It has been very long..”

Quick excited chatter and giggly laughter, much to the amusement of the hospital staff leaving for the day..!
We remained unmindful, too preoccupied with snatching words out of each other! More giggles!
And shushing!

“I think I’ll walk you to your car.”
” But I thought you were leaving by the front door”!
” Yes, but you could drop me off at the front door.. If you don’t mind the detour?”

” Detour!!” HA!?
“Okay,okay. Call it an excuse to be together for a little while longer…”

“How endearing you sound, really!”
” Well..it has been so long..”
“Yes, it has…”

45.786 seconds later….

” So here’s the front door.What now?
Where exactly are you going anyway? I could drop you off,you know? ”

” But it’s less than walking distance..just behind the hospital. Besides,if you get off the main road now, you’ll get caught in this terrible traffic.”

” So are you saying I should come, or I should not?”

” I’d love you to drop me off..a little more time to chat with you. But..”

Hesitant honking behind us. Sort of a mini traffic jam on the hospital ‘runway’.

” Well, STOP being dumb and hop back in. I’m dropping you off. What the heck! ”

7 mins 54 seconds, giggly  exchange an eavesdropper would label silly, and two right turns later…

” That’s the place. I told you it’s shorter than a stone’s throw away.”

“Well, this looks nice.
So how do I get out on to the main road from here?”.

” You take a right, the first left ,then another..
Oh well..lemme come along and leave you till the end of the alleyways ”

“NO.Definitely not. You’ll be walking back a longer distance than that we travelled!”

” But I’ll get to be with you a little longer”

You’re crazy! But you’re sweet, really.”

End of the alley. Main road ahead. We had finally ran out of excuses..!!

Hugs. Byes. Promises to do better than WhatsApp messages, staccato conversations and chance meetings on staircases!

And I drive back home with the warmth that comes from a few short minutes of honest, shared laughter, unabridged chatter and the rare, blessed feeling of being wanted for just being you.

Thank you, P.
Stay blessed.

P.S.- Traffic? I didn’t really notice it today!

Of Sundays




5:40 am :
Shy rays of the sun steal their way through the early morning fog. …
Wide Awake..!!
Rush of wintry thoughts, foggy memories…
I pull my warm rug tighter. Back to sleep. Resolutely.

6:47 am :
The flutter of baby pigeons in the balcony. Shadow instantly up..customary growl, a spirited woof. The pigeons undeterred.
Shadow gives up, curls back beside me, shuts out the world..

Buddy’s insistent knock on bedroom door.I let him out, check his cushions at his favorite spot in the sun as he,with his toy buddy in tow,sinks into a dreamless sleep once again.
Ginger is dead to the world all through this.Or pretends to be! I have never been sure…!
Reset the alarm ( till forever), sink back into bed.

9:23 am:
Activity! Old favorites on the stereo floating down from afar, smell of freshly toasted bread, clatter of China in the kitchen…P is up and about his favorite morning ritual, fixing breakfast!
I sink deeper inside the rugs, shut off the alarm, hug Shadow tighter, ignore the world…
Still not ready to “open the gates”…

10:13am :
May be ,just may be, the world will decide to sink back into sleep..!
May be the sun would take the day off..!
Maybe the mind will too…
But no….
It isn’t to be…




Pertinent question: How does the monkey mind take a Sunday off?



Dear A,
It was really nice talking with you today.

Yes, talking ….as in really hearing your voice, with all the familiar nuances in it that makes it special – Yours!
Not ‘talking’ over typed words with an emoji to substitute for that naughty, adorable crackle in your laughter, the sincerity in your earnest chatter and that endearing way you always say my name.
Long after I put the phone down, I kept reminiscing our conversation….
It did me a lot of good…trying to fit in days in those 30 odd minutes!

Like they say, ‘one real conversation with a friend is worth hours on the psychiatrist’s couch’ !


And I realised how we have all changed…we Humans!
We who are different from our fellow living beings on this planet because of this unique gift of speech, seem to have forgotten how to really ‘talk’!! Caught in the maze of our expensive, fancy gadgets that claim to bring us closer….

I don’t know about others, but for me a thousand smiling emojis cannot substitute for a familiar chuckle that warms my heart. Nor will any number of animated hug-stickers ever make up for a word of endearment or a warm embrace in an hour of need…..

I’d, any day, settle for one heartfelt conversation, one warm hug or a soulful get-together days apart, over typed words every minute of the day.


Thank you for bringing to life all our old adventures!
And for simply being ‘You’ !

With love,
Yours G


P. S : OK, you can add a smiling emoji here 🙂